My Mom Is Acting Weirdly

Once she've said
"no boys allowed in ur life"

Now,
"do u want any boyfriend?"

Last time she used to ignore me
I even have to raise my hand to talk to her..
And once she've said
"Can you shut up for awhile?"

Now,
"Why are u not talking? any probs? yuhooo!"

Few years ago,
She had checked whatva thing I had

Now,
Eventhough she find out smtg,
She just acting cool....
WEIRD!!

Since I was small,
She would never care who I appeared to be or what im wearing

Now,
She even buy me make up and lots more
Just to make me girlish...
Too late mom..

Do u believe tht my mom dont even know what's my fav food?
She dont even noe anytg bout me..
She's not the one who took care of me...
Even my bestie no more than her...

Now,
She's trying to get closed to me,
I feel so awkward!!!
She bought me everytg that i want...
She gave me kinda lots of money for my birthday
And tret me so called "well"

Im a problematic child..
I knew that!!
DOnt try to change me mom..
Its too late...
I cant be someone who I dont want to be...
Its like the real me had gone away...

Mom,
I hope u will find out this...

I noe u love abang more than me..
I noe im not supposed to exits in this world..
I noe ur regreting it now..

But,
I dont even bother about that now..
Im used to it..
Yes...its hurt...
But stop doing this...!
Im not desperate for it...
I was...but no more...
I can survive...
With my grandma..

Go ahead..
Carry on loving abang...
Go spend ur time with him..
I just cant appreciate whteva ur doing...
It such a waste of time....

It doesnt mean that I dont love u...
I dont noe whts love is...
I dont get attention from my parents..
Only attention from my bro and grandma...

About what u've said last nite...
"U only smile and acted good to ur friends!!"
Yea...its true...
Coz with them...I feel the love...
We love and we care about each other...
They are my shoulder cry...
They are my moms and dads...
And also my siblings...
They are ready to give whteva tht u cant...

Sorry mom...
Its better for u to hate me...
By doing this,
I can only hurt u i return...
Sorry.....